John Mayer says it best: "It might be a quarter life crisis/Or just the stirring in my soul/Either way I wonder sometimes/About the outcome/Of a still verdictless life/Am I living it right?"
Today I turn 25 years old. I am a quarter-century old. It is a mixed emotion for me. Birthdays are great. For a girl that loves to be the center of attention, they're top-notch, really. (Ok, I just admitted that I love being the center of attention, I must be maturing...) However, this one is a big one.
I googled "quarter life crisis" and came up with the following definition from Wikipedia: "The quarter life crisis is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties."
It goes on to list the follow "characteristics" of the "crisis":
• realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless
• confronting their own mortality
• watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next
• insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless
• insecurity concerning ability to love themselves, let alone another person
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy
• disappointment with one's job
• nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipated high cost of living, etc.)
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than oneself
• frustration with social skills
Ok, so not all of them apply to me. I will say that probably more than anything, I have been experiencing the "nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life." I miss my Kappa sisters SO much. To open a ritual meeting as President again would make my day. My year, really. I would do just about anything to attend a date party, mixer, or formal. I also think back to my Senior year of high school. With Landon just months from graduating, it has really hit me how fast time is moving.
I guess the other big one that seems to "hit home" is financially rooted stress. Yes, I have plenty of college loan debt--and that's just from my Undergrad. Now, I'm working on my Master's. I don't love school, I just love debt. Not.
Luckily, I don't feel any older. And thankfully, I don't look any older. But the fact is, I am older.
With all of this negativity, I think it's time I thought about the great things about being 25. Well, the obvious thing is that I can rent a car without a ridiculous surcharge. My car insurance is cheaper. And...well, that's about it.
So... Happy Birthday to me. Welcome to your mid-twenties, Lauren. It's all downhill from here.